NB. While this post is intended as more of an official announcement I hope you will be able to see why this is very relevant to aspects of ABI/TBI recovery. I hope you will see the sense in what I am saying and understand why I am doing the things that I am doing.
It’s been nearly a year since I started. The first blog I posted was online on the 31st of August 2015. It was a spur of the moment thing (though I didn’t realise it at the time, it was exactly six years since the attack that caused the injury took place). I had talked for a long time about starting a blog and detailing my experiences of rehabilitation post-ABI primarily to get into the habit of writing regularly and to try and get noticed as a writer, how I live and deal with the way my ABI has manifested itself in the seven years between when I suffered the injury and in the here and now and finally, I started the blog in the hope that my experiences could be helpful to people, provide them with different ways of thinking about problems that they cannot solve, provide a source of comfort and hope for people who think that life is over after a Brain Injury, I hope that I have managed to do these things.
Before I started this blog I didn’t really know what kind of reception I/it would get. It is always a nerve-wracking experience; expose yourself emotionally to people, allow yourself to be vulnerable. For me though, this kind of revelation has always been easier in the written form. It would take a very particular type of person for me to divulge the kind of information to in the way I have on my blog (which is strange because basically anyone in the world can read this and gain an insight into my mind, thoughts and emotions). It took a long time for me to take action when I was starting the blog. It had been in my minds eye for many a month prior to its beginning. However that is the thing, I think there comes a point where thoughts, plans, organization and talk can only take you so far. There comes a point where you have to bite the bullet, and just do what you need to do. Stop planning, stop organizing, stop talking and do it!
The truth is that as the months have gone on, I have found it difficult to maintain the discipline and motivation to continue writing blogs. This is because any of the reasons for writing it have changed, it’s because I have changed. I have found that the prospect of looking within, examining the self, going over experiences that, quite honestly, I wish I would never have to revisit; these thoughts can make me angry, depressed, sad and really affect my mental health in general. That effect in turn, affects my day-to-day functioning, my sleep pattern, my meal times, my willingness to socialise and the way I engage with my mum and dad. I have come to the conclusion that if I continue to look inwards I will never be able to move forward and look outwards, at the many possibilities that are available in the world, even for people with a disability.
Announcements and Changes
Even though I said that none of the reasons for writing the blog and that these have remained solid and the main basis for writing my blogs posts, I believe that I neglected one key issue regarding my motivations; writing to get my name out there, to be recognized as a writer and write for the love of writing. There are many other aspects of writing, different platforms and mediums that I love and that I want to explore. The time has come for me to concentrate on those forms and move forwards towards the direction I really want to go in and find the area I want to make a career for myself in.
So here are the real announcements, the 1st of September after a year of blogging, will be my final blog post for a while. I feel that I need to spend some time on making some life changes and changes to my daily routines that will make living independently a more achievable goal. I am currently in the process of making dietary changes and changes to my exercise habits, learning to cook properly and generally how to do all the things we need to do around the house on a daily basis to make living well independently achievable for me. The intention is to spend some time focusing on engraining certain habits; cooking healthy meals myself, keeping a consistent sensible sleep pattern, regular cardiovascular exercise to compensate for the sedentary career choice I have made and focusing on looking outward into the world and what I can achieve in it once I have engrained these habits into my day and composed a healthy, consistent, realistic and sustainable lifestyle.
While I wont be producing original content I will be doing my best to continue with my brain injury advocacy and advocacy for people with disabilities as a whole. To compensate for my lack of content production I will be doing my best to share blog posts written by the other brain injury and disability advocates and the amazing work they are doing. Also, I will still have my Twitter page and my Instagram page available where I will be doing my best to share valuable information with you all. I will also be using these social media platforms to keep you up to date with my own progress. Finally I will announce that I will be continuing my blogging work for Headway Worcester (a much simpler and convenient writing process to fit in with the kind of life changes I am going to be making over the coming months).
Finally, I am going to say this that any I original content I may produce in the future will act as a breath of fresh air. Sometimes you need to look at things from a different perspective to learn more (as I have said in many of my previous posts) and I feel I have distributed all the information I can for now that will be of benefit to you all.
A Note of Thanks
Finally, to conclude this post, I just want to say a huge thank you to those who have followed me on Twitter, Instagram and on WordPress. I have spoken to many incredible people from all over the world who are going through similar situations who seemed to have gained something from my blog. I feel very bad and apologise profusely to those people that I cannot continue with my blogs. However, I hope that you understand that I cannot continue staying static and standing still in my life living with ABI. The effects of brain Injury never cease, they always seem to be changing and as they do life changes with it and when opportunities arrive to make changes that will benefit your life, as you will all know, that you have to take them.
I feel incredibly touched at the way the blog has been received and the way people have reacted and that people have found it useful to them and that it has done what I intended it to, even if it was only for a few people. So, to all of you that read and shared my posts, you will have my never-ending gratitude for believing in me and for supporting me. I hope that we will see this through to the end together, that you will read my final two posts as enthusiastically as all the others and find them as helpful or useful or what have you as all the of the ones preceding it. I also hope you will continue to monitor my activities and progress as time goes on and that you will still check in on Twitter and Instagram and help to continue what I started by sharing information and stories about brain injury and help to bring it closer to the forefront of the conversation about healthcare in the UK and worldwide. Thank you so much for all of your unwavering support. You have been what has made this possible!